This won't be the happiest of posts

First off, we made it to week 15. I am so happy every week we get to cross off because we are that much closer to getting our babies to a healthy stage and to seeing them. But today I need to rant. This doesn't mean that I don't want my babies or love them with all of my heart. We all have days we're things are off and I deserve those too. Just because I vent doesn't mean I wouldn't do this all over again! In a way I feel bad for ranting but I also think these feeling should be expressed and not kept bottled up. That will only cause more harm than good. 

I am tired of living in sweat pants. Nothing else fits right now and maternity clothes haven't found a way into the budget yet. As I put on my work pants every day, unable to even zip at this point I get frustrated. My belly band has become my best friend. 

I am tired of not being able to have a bowel movement without passing out. My blood pressure drops and so do I and it is frustrating. Times like these is where I want to feel normal again. 

I am tired of not being able to stand in the shower and actually shower without having to sit down. Early on I am having huge pelvic problems and sciatic nerve pain, this makes it difficult to walk or stand sometimes. And of course bathing during pregnancy is a no-no. The water has to be less than warm and you can only sit for 10 minutes. Not my idea of relaxation. 

I'm tired of feeling like I'm not doing it right. Whether there is a right way to carry triplets or not, I don't know but I feel like I'm doing it wrong. I read blogs of other triplet moms and they don't complain, they have no pain and I feel like the outcast even in the triplet mom world. I know this is ridiculous. 

I'm tired of feeling like someone always needs to be with me, just in case something happens. I don't want to go grocery shopping alone because what if I pass out? Or get sick? Or both? Freedom is no more and maybe that more my own worries more than what is needed. 

I stress about these babies so much I have nightmares. Especially if it's been a while since I got to see them. We have an appointment a week from tomorrow and it can't come fast enough. The months go slow when I just want to see them and know they are ok.

I know being pregnant is hard. I know I will suck it up and move on but I had to get it out there. Pregnancy isn't all beautiful, especially for a woman carrying 3. And if they say it was perfect, I can guarantee you aren't getting the whole truth. Please wish my babies luck, let's get as far as possible and I'll do everything I can to get us there. My world is inside my stomach right now and I can't wait to meet them! A bad day doesn't mean I have a bad life, just a bad day! 

Here a 14W5D picture for you all!! :)